In my last post, we talked about nervous system dysregulation and what it actually means. Not as a buzzword. Not as a personality trait. Just as a nervous system doing its best in a full and sometimes overwhelming world.

And the response to that post told me something important.

So many of you recognized yourselves in it.

Which makes sense. Once you understand that dysregulation is not a character flaw but a stress response, something softens. There is relief in realizing your body is responding, not misbehaving.

So today I want to gently take that one step further.

What if instead of trying to fix your nervous system, you started befriending it?

I know. That might sound a little strange at first.

Most of us have spent years being annoyed with our bodies. Frustrated by anxiety. Embarrassed by tears. Irritated by how reactive or sensitive we feel. We try to override it. Push through it. Silence it. Power past it.

But your nervous system is NOT the enemy.

It is more like an overprotective friend who learned some intense survival skills along the way. It reacts quickly. It gets loud sometimes. It shuts things down when it thinks you have had enough. And while the timing might not always feel convenient, the intention underneath is protection.

Befriending your nervous system does not mean you love every sensation that shows up. It means you get curious instead of critical.

Instead of saying, “Why am I like this?” you might ask, “What is my body trying to tell me right now?”

Instead of bracing against anxiety, you might notice where it lives in your body.

Is it in your chest?

Your stomach?

Your throat?

Can you breathe a little space around it instead of tightening against it?

Instead of judging yourself for feeling shut down, you might gently acknowledge, “Ah, this is my system needing a pause.”

This is the shift.

From control to curiosity.
From frustration to relationship.

When we approach the nervous system with compassion, something changes. The body feels less alone. And often, when the body feels understood, it does not have to shout as loudly.

This is the heart of somatic work.

We slow down enough to notice what is happening beneath the thoughts. We track sensations. We build capacity in small, manageable ways. We create moments of safety that your system can actually feel, not just think about.

Over time, your nervous system learns something new.

It learns that it does not have to stay on high alert all the time.
It learns that feelings can move through without overwhelming you.
It learns that you are listening now.

And that learning does not happen through force. It happens through repetition, gentleness, and attuned support.

If you read the last post and thought, “Okay, that explains a lot,” this is the next step. Not fixing. Not perfect regulation. Just building a different relationship with the system that has been working so hard for you.

You do not have to silence your nervous system to heal.
You do not have to master it.
You just have to start listening.

If this idea feels relieving, or even just a little intriguing, that is usually your body recognizing something true.

And if you would like support in learning how to do this in a way that feels steady and doable, this is exactly the kind of work I love.

We move at your pace.

We build safety first.

We help your system experience something different, not just understand it.

You and your nervous system are on the same team.

Sometimes it just takes a little while to remember that.