We spend a lot of time trying to understand our feelings. We analyze them. We talk about them. We explain them to ourselves and to other people.

We ask questions like “Why am I feeling this way?” or “What does this mean about me?”

And while cognitive curiosity is not a bad thing, there is something important we often miss along the way.

Feelings do not speak in words, they do not speak the English language…..

They never have.

Feelings speak through sensation.

Through tight chests and heavy shoulders. Through fluttery stomachs and clenched jaws. Through warmth, pressure, buzzing, numbness, and waves that rise and fall inside the body.

When we try to meet emotions only with our minds, we are speaking a language they do not use.

This is where so many of us get stuck.

From a very young age, most of us were taught to live from the neck up.

Think it through.

Calm down.

Be logical.

Push it aside.

Keep going.

Somewhere along the way, we learned that feeling deeply was inconvenient or uncomfortable or something to manage quickly so we could get back to being productive.

But emotions do not resolve themselves through logic. They resolve through experience.

There is a concept in somatic work called the felt sense.

It is exactly what it sounds like.

The felt sense is your direct, moment to moment experience of what is happening inside your body. Not the story about it. Not the interpretation. Just the sensation itself.

For example, anxiety might show up as a tight throat or shallow breathing.

Sadness might feel like heaviness behind the eyes or a sinking feeling in the chest.

Anger might feel hot, sharp, or restless.

The best part! None of these sensations need to be fixed or explained. They need to be noticed.

When you allow yourself to feel into the body without trying to change anything, something interesting happens. The nervous system begins to complete a cycle that may have been interrupted in the past. Your body starts to do what it was always designed to do.

Process.

There is research that suggests that when we allow ourselves to fully feel an emotion without resisting it or fueling it with story, the life of that emotion lasts about ninety seconds. About a minute and a half.

That is it.

What keeps emotions around longer is not the feeling itself. It is the thoughts we layer on top of it.

The judging.

The fearing.

The replaying. The “this means something bad” or “I should not feel this way” or “what if this never goes away.”

The body feels. The mind adds the story.

This is why so many people feel like their emotions are overwhelming or endless. They were never taught how to be with sensation safely. They were taught how to escape it.

Feeling an emotion does not mean spiraling. It does not mean drowning in it. It means gently turning toward what is already there and saying, “I notice you.”

In therapy, especially somatic therapy, we slow things way down. We get curious about what the body is doing instead of rushing to explain why it is doing it. We track sensations. We notice shifts. We allow space for what wants to move.

This is often where real relief happens.

Not because the emotion disappears instantly, but because the body no longer feels alone with it.

When you let yourself feel without forcing meaning, emotions often soften on their own. The tightness eases. The breath deepens. The wave passes. And you are left with a sense of having moved through something instead of being stuck inside it.

This can feel scary at first, especially if you have spent years avoiding certain feelings. But feeling is not dangerous. Suppressing is what exhausts the system over time.

You do not need the perfect words to heal. You need permission to notice what is happening inside you without judgment.

Your body already knows how to process emotion. It has been trying to do it all along.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop asking what your feelings mean and start asking, “Where do I feel this?”

Then breathe.

Then listen.

Then let ninety seconds be ninety seconds.

That is where healing quietly begins.

If this post resonated with you and you are curious about Somatic Therapy, feel free to reach out, drop a comment below and let’s have a chat.