I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately

I know we may not have met yet, maybe we never will, but that doesn’t stop me from wondering about how you’re doing and what you might be struggling with these days.

Because, truth be told, neither of us are perfect, there are always going to be days where the struggle is REAL.

Things can start out all peachy, you’re happy, grateful, excited to get the day started then BOOM, something triggers you, sending you into a tailspin.

You can’t tell which way is up or down.

Your heart starts pumping, you forget your coping techniques, you lose sight of all logic, and panic ensues.

And it’s a shock because you didn’t see it coming, all of a sudden it’s just there and it kicks you out of alignment.

Can you relate to this feeling? I know I sure can!

A Personal Share

 I thought I would share a story with you so you know you’re not alone.

About a year ago, our family dog Felix and I were on a casual walk in the park, a super sunny day, one of those perfect summer afternoons.

That day quickly changed, (trigger warning), when another dog in the park broke free from his leash and attacked our faithful friend in a pretty significant way

DON’T WORRY our little dude bounced back, he’s just as happy go lucky as ever, always wanting to play with bigger dogs despite what happened to him.

Me though, I’m still a MESS!!!!!

I mean, it’s been a year so you would think that things would be different right? That I would have gotten over my own fear of greeting other dogs when we venture out on our nightly strolls.

DON’T WORRY our little dude bounced back, he’s just as happy go lucky as ever, always wanting to play with bigger dogs despite what happened to him.

Me though, I’m still a MESS!!!!!

It Takes Time!

I mean, it’s been well over a year, you would think that things would be different right? That I would have gotten over my own fear of greeting other dogs when we venture out on our nightly strolls.

Last week I realized the answer is NOPE, I’m still pretty traumatized from that event, it’s like it’s etched into my mind, destined to be there for a lifetime.

We were on a normal walk the other day, but the number of dogs that were out in the neighbourhood was substantial, and they were all large breeds.

They weren’t doing anything aggressive, they wanted to say hi, and so did Felix (poor guy, I wouldn’t let him)

Needless to say I became anxiety ridden and I knew I had to get home. It was almost as though I blacked out, I can’t even recall getting back, only the intense desperation of needing to get there immediately.

Cue the TEARS, they came in waves, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breath, I was just so upset with myself for still feeling this way.

How is it even possible to still be triggered this much?

I felt like I was not only letting myself down, I was letting my precious furry mate down as well (he just wants to PLAY!).

For hours I let myself wallow, losing sight of reality completely.

I was really hard on myself if I am being honest.

The Good News

I managed to find grounding, pulled myself out of the depths, and found strength within myself to balance my nervous system.

Most of all, I forgave myself for not being where I thought I should be in my healing. I am always going to be more sensitive when it comes to Felix but that’s OKAY, it means I care.

My message for you is to remember to be gentle with yourself as you go through this process, this time of change in your life.

It’s not always going to be easy, you will be triggered, situations will come up that will knock you off kilter, it’s not a sign of weakness.

In fact, recognizing you’ve been triggered and working through it is a sign of PROGRESS and bouncing back is a VICTORY.

As you navigate the process of personal transformation you learn to be able to recognize your triggers, find an awareness around them, anchor yourself into your breath, and move forward.

Embrace these moments and be proud of yourself, it’s a sign the process is working.